Parenting involves not only taking care of your child but also setting a good example for him or her. As your child’s first teacher, it is your duty to set a good example so that your child can grow up with the right values. It is not only parents, but other family members who the child sees on a regular basis too. Grandparents and elder siblings too have an immense influence on your child’s behaviour and actions.
Sometimes when you experience a second pregnancy, your first child may be hostile towards the new baby. How to handle your first child? It takes a lot of parenting skill to actually be able to manage the stress associated with a second child as well as handle the hostilities of the first. Therefore, there are several parenting tips which you can follow in order to ensure that both your children grow up in a happy and docile environment.
While it is justified to be caught up in the excitement of having a second child, many parents forget that the first child needs his or her share of attention as well. Good parenting is including your first child in the excitement rather than letting him or her sulk. Older children have a tendency to dislike and resent the intrusion which a new child brings. They are used to enjoying their parents’ attention as well as the attention of everyone in the household. So, include your child in all the excitement which you are experiencing! It is good for both parents and kids to share this joy. Moreover, by showing your child that he or she is equally important in your life, you only serve to strengthen your bond.
An important step when you are having a second child is breaking the news to your first born. Make sure you use good parenting skills and tell your child in a gentle manner. By telling him or her in a matter of fact manner you risk your child harbouring feelings of hostility towards the new born. He may think that because of an intruder, his parents are being taken away from him. There are various methods by which you can explain this to your child. For example, you can sit your child down and tell him a story of siblings. This way the child will be able to relate to the idea when you finally tell him. It is undoubtedly of utmost importance for parents and kids to have an honest talk regarding this.
You must also remember that your older child is used to a particular routine. While your routine may have been turned upside down by the arrival of a baby, you were able to adjust to it because you are an adult. However, children have their own way of interpreting your actions. So if you intend to change your first-born’s routine, make sure you introduce the change at least 6 months before your second child is born or 6 months after. Parenting teaches us that if any major change is introduced immediately after the child’s birth, your elder child may interpret it as an attempt on the part of the younger one to usurp his or her position. Children do not usually handle competition well and jealousy tends to creep into the relationship.
There is however a limit up to which you should give your first born the attention required. If you are prone to shower your child with gifts at the drop of a hat, be prepared to deal with a spoilt brat later on. There is no substitute to parenting and if your husband thinks it is the woman’s duty to look after the children, he is very wrong. Parenting must involve both parents, especially when a new child is on the way. Fathers need to spend time with their kids, and use their parenting skills to explain to them the change that is about to occur. Simply compensating for your absence by giving gifts is not a solution or substitute for parenting. This is all the more true during pregnancy. So make sure you discipline your child as well as buy him or her gifts.
All though parenting is tough and the pressure doubles when a second baby is on the way, there is no greater joy than seeing your children take care of one another. Use your parenting skills well when bringing up your second child.