For the most part, parents know as little about kids as the kids know about their parents. Because the world moves at such a fast pace in today’s world, parents are busy with jobs and kids are busy with school, sports, dance lessons, church, and scouts if they are from an average family. Kids never realize that their parents were once their age, and all-too-often parents have forgotten what it’s like to be a kid, and that is why communication, understanding, consistency, and patience is so important.
Communications
This doesn’t mean the parents should revert to an irresponsible adult that has no cares in the world, but it does mean they should communicate with the kids. Even if it’s about remembering special events from your own youth and sharing a story about what it was like at age six to be in your first recital for music class. You were so excited about singing the solo song that you forgot the words made up your own song and everyone loved it. It was a complete accident, but you were the star of the show. Remember the fun stories in which you did something great but not entirely by intent – these are particularly good when there is hesitation to participate in a new sport. You never know how good you can be unless you try, and communicating with them and understanding them is a bonus.
Understanding
Another aspect that is important for Parents and Kids to develop a better relationship is, understanding. Kids never really understand why adults set limitations on their actions and prevent them from doing all the “fun” things. Adults need to take time to explain to the kids why their choices are wrong and help them determine why there are better, more productive choices. Adults also need to remember when they were that age, and understand why their kids are making the choices they are making. It doesn’t mean that the adult can be irresponsible, but they can take time out of the busy schedule to play with the kids and teach them something new to exhibit good choices.
Consistency
One thing that is so important for Parents and Kids to improve their relationship is consistency. “Say what you mean, and mean what you say” is not just an old axiom; it’s a truth that is more obvious to kids because if they hear you screaming at them for bad choices and bad manners, they will mimic the bad behavior. Parenting takes a lot of effort, it’s not always fun, and it can be exhausting, but the main point of being a parent is to raise children who are responsible adults. The old “do what I say” is extremely important, and it becomes an even greater lesson when it’s followed by “don’t do as I do”. A child picks up the double standard very quickly, and by saying “because I said so” is rarely effective when you are displaying the bad behavior you are telling them not to do. Consistency in what you do and what you say to the kids is very important.
Patience
When the kid is acting up, losing the temper is unproductive for both of you. Remember that “Patience is virtue” and having it is extremely important. When you feel yourself getting angry, tell the kid to go to their room, take their phone, iPod, iPad, and computer away from them, and go cool off until you are calm enough to be rational. It is particularly important when trying to teach them to be patient with others and make good choices. Keep in mind that you are still the most important person in their lives for being an example and you must live by example.
There are so many events that cause parents and kids to go their separate ways while the kids are growing up, and even though it’s important to spend quality time with the kids, quantity is equally important. Just taking them to a movie once a month when you are between business trips is simply not enough for parents who want to maintain a good relationship with the kids. Spending time with them, building trust, and maintaining the communications is so important to ensure that Parents and Kids have a lasting good relationship.
