RAYA JOKES

Posted on July 20, 2021 ยท Posted in Blog, General, Memo Plus Gold, Personal

A soldier in Indonesia saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the loaded bicycle alone. The man replied, “TRADITION”. Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said “LAND MINES”!

 

Q: What is the difference between a smart Indonesian and a unicorn?

A: Nothing, they’re both fictional characters!

 

Once upon a time, three people were stranded out at sea – a Japanese, a Malaysian and an Indonesian. Their boat started leaking and if they do not act fast, they would all die. The Japanese (as usual) was the first to take the initiative. He threw all his Japanese gizmo – CD player, hi-fi, radio etc. off the boat. The Malaysian and the Indonesian looked at him in disbelief. The Japanese said, “Don’t worry.. still got a lot more in my country.. BANZAIIIEE!” But the boat was still sinking. The Indonesian without hesitation started throwing aboard all his baju batik, kain batik, keretek, etc., etc. He comforted the other two, “Don’t worry.. still have a lot more in my country”. But still the boat was sinking. The Japanese and the Indonesian looked at the Malaysian. Suddenly, without any hesitation and with stride, the Malaysian threw the Indonesian overboard. The poor guy couldn’t swim and drowned. The Japanese was shocked. Said the Malaysian, “Don’t worry… still got a lot more in MY country!!!”.

 

Q: Why don’t the Thais take showers anymore?

A: Because after the tsunami they are washing up on the beaches!

 

An American businessman goes to Indonesia on a business trip, but he hates Indonesian food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there’s any place around where he could get American food. The concierge told him he’s in luck; there’s a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gave the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, “What the heck did you put on this pizza?” The delivery man bows deeply and says, “We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only.”

 

Q: How does every Indonesian joke start?

A: By looking over your shoulder!

 

Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Thailand?

A: He couldn’t find 3 wise men and a virgin!

 

Once there was a rural man who came from Malaysia to the United States. He couldn’t speak English so he went to the choir and learned how to say “Me, me, me, me, me, me.” Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say “He stole my dolly” And on his way home he went to get some meat from the butcher and learned how to say “Big butcher knife, big butcher knife.” Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say “Plug it in, Plug it in.” Then he went to the supermarket and whilst there a murder happened and the police asked “Who killed this man?” The Malaysian said “Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.” The police asked “Why did you kill him?” And the man said “He stole my dolly.” The police man asked “What did you kill him with?” The man said “Big butcher knife, big butcher knife.” Then they took him to jail and the court sentenced him to death. The police man asked “any last words?” And the Malaysian said “Plug it in, plug it in.”

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