THURSDAY JOKE – 2

Posted on May 7, 2020 · Posted in Blog, General, Memo Plus Gold, Personal

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Kuala Lumpur,…

Where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch…

You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor,…

But you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband…

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.

She then goes to the second floor…

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

She thinks for a while, and then goes to the third floor…

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay,…

But she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

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Floor 6 – You are visitor number 53,631,007 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. 

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. 

Mind your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

 

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened?

Close the door, I am dressing.

 

I used to be addicted to soap.

But I am clean now.

 

A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish.

The salesman asks him, “Do you want an aquarium?”

The guy responds, “I don’t care what star sign it is!”

 

An old woman had three married daughters.

 

One day she decided to test her sons-in-law.

 

One day she was walking along a lake-shore with the first son-in-law.

 

Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help.

 

The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore.

 

The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes in his doorsteps with the wordings “Thank you!!!

Your Mother-in-law loves you very much.!!!”

 

Another day she was walking along a lake-shore with the second son-in-law.

 

Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help.

 

The second son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore.

 

The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes in his doorsteps with the wordings “Thank you!!! Your Mother-in-law loves you very much.!!!”

 

The third time she was walking with the third son-in-law and she repeated the same.

 

But that guy did not respond to her cries for help and did not move a single step to save her.

 

The poor old lady who wanted to test her sons-in-law drowned and died.

 

The next day he found a brand new Rolls-Royce in his doorsteps with the following wordings…

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“Thank you very much! Your Father-in-law.!!!” 

 

A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: Excuse me, how much do you charge”.

The lawyer responds: “I charge RM 1,000 to answer three questions”.
“Bloody hell – That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?”

“Yes. What’s your third question?”

 

A woman decided to have a face-lift for her birthday.

She spent RM 2,000 and felt really good about the results.

On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.

As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 35,” he replied. “I’m actually 47,” the woman said, feeling really happy.

After that she went into McDonald’s for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.

He replied, “Oh, you look about 29.” “I am actually 47!” she said, feeling really good.

While standing at the bus stop, she asked an old man the same question.

He replied, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman’s age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age.”

There was no one around, so the woman said, “What the hell?” and let him slip his hand up her skirt.

After feeling around for a while, the old man said, “OK, You are 47.”

Stunned, the woman said, “That was brilliant! How did you do that?”

The old man replied, “I was behind you in the line at McDonald’s.”

 

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night,

When the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered.

He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes,

And his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not help but stare.

The man noticed that he was the object of the woman’s rapt attention, and with a sly, sexy smile approached her.

Blushing, she prepared to apologize for staring, but he leaned close and whispered in her ear.

“I’ll do anything,” he whispered in a deep, soft voice.

“Anything, absolutely anything you want, anything you have ever fantasized, for fifty dollars.

There’s just one condition…”

Trembling with anticipation, the woman asked him the condition.

The man said, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”

The woman gazed into his hypnotic eyes, considering the proposition, then reached into her handbag and took out fifty dollars.

She scribbled her address on a napkin, folded it around the cash, and pressed it into his waiting hand.

She leaned over and whispered into his ear…

*
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“Clean… my… house.”

 

As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp.Natural memory enhancer