THURSDAY JOKES – 107

Posted on May 12, 2022 · Posted in Blog, General, Memo Plus Gold, Personal

Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey.
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I’ll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you!

 

A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear.

Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?”

The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five-year-old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen-year-old.”

“Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five-year-old ass?”

She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation!”

 

Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night .”
Kid 1: “As if.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.”
Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.”
Kid 2: “You will in about nine months time!”

 

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up.

One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”

He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself!”

 

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch.

A woman passing by remarked, “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.”

He replies, “If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself!”

 

Girlfriend: “Am I pretty or ugly?”
Boyfriend: “You’re both.”
Girlfriend: “What do you mean?”
Boyfriend: “You’re pretty ugly!”

 

I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work!

 

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”

The next morning, he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since that day!!!

As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp.Natural memory enhancer