Warmth and Pride

Posted on December 22, 2017 · Posted in Blog, General, Personal


The development of simple warmth and pride is necessary if we are to have a guaranteed access to the surface of experience around us. An on-going awareness of life’s surface, guided by simple, independent warmth and independent pride, is absolutely crucial if we expect ourselves to discriminate between the four basic categories of experience. Briefly, these categories are: the adaptive, the aesthetic, the sexual and celebrative, and the creative. The order in which they appear on a page is unimportant. What makes this simple blueprint such a valuable tool is that it can protect our identities from going to work inappropriately and ineffectively.

The major difficulty a feminine personality faces when he attempts to develop his independent pride is that the sensation of pride can readily lead to a celebrative state which tends to undermine the identity. So, when we speak of a feminine’s independent pride, we are referring to a value for one’s self that is independent of accomplishment. This is the only route to continuity.

The major obstacle confronted by the masculine person who attempts to develop his independent warmth is that a surplus of warmth can readily lead to an over-feeling state which analogously makes him vulnerable to seduction. So, when we speak of a masculine’s independent warmth we are referring to his awareness, recognition, and recollection of his own beauty which is independent of the need to be appreciated by others. This is the only way to maintain a consistent access to his integrity.

Only when a feminine personality chooses to establish and maintain pride for his independent submissiveness (which is the only thing we have worth being proud of, considering that it’s the only thing we truly bring into existence) will he be free of his dependency on accomplishments. The only function this particular dependency serves is to cover up an inappropriate sense of shame in the feminine defensive structure. As this psychological approach to life is allowed to persist, privacy which is so necessary to the development of independent insights is usurped by a personal state of psychic secrecy where language becomes a tool for hiding information and reveals nothing. Sadistic responses toward new experience that cannot be dominated by his compulsive order must be seen as inevitable if he is to preserve his status as victim.

If a masculine personality hopes to insure his innocence in the face of the unknown and chaotic in the human scene and not be crippled by the guilt inherent when attempts at greater mastery fail, he has first to establish, then nurture an independent warmth for his dominance. (I can see this warmth as akin to that which a father has for his new born son.) Beauty lies in the heart of the holder and until he is secure with this unalienable right, a dependency on the appreciation of others will continue to undermine his need to make responsible commitments to others. The only function served by this particular dependency is that it provides him with a false sense of security in the skills he already has. Power becomes an intellectual exercise that he uses to justify the bullying of his way through life and out of relationships.

Polarity exists, therefore we have no choice in the matter of forming our feminine and masculine identities. That a male child will identify with his mother and polarize with his father is an adaptive necessity for the child. If it were the other way around the stress of having to compete with the father would be too great a burden for the child to bear. Choices come into focus along with the willingness to specialize in our fundamental character. As the psychological growth process reveals the need for feminine men to give up their socially reinforced masculinization and the need for masculine men to give up socially supported feminization, we have come to rely on simple warmth and pride reactions to continue to feel at home in the world.

The purpose of simple warmth and pride is to help establish reserves of tension and energy in our identities. This works by allowing experiences from the adaptive, aesthetic and sexual and celebrative categories to remain simple and two-dimensional. As necessary as these experiences are, they only become important or serious when we give them permission to do so. To be indiscriminate with such permission is a sure formula for exhaustion.

The cornerstone of creativity is imbalance, which here will explain the desire for character specialization. The process we call psychological growth is characterized by the shedding of dependencies on defense mechanisms in order to discover our healthy dependencies. In simple terms, “What do we genuinely need and want from one another?” and, “How will getting what we need and want help make the world a better place to live in?”

Simple warmth and pride are tools we can use to help establish our mental health. As we develop techniques of self-discipline and self-control we build reserves of tension and energy. For the feminine, pride in his submissiveness, and for the masculine, warmth for his dominance, are the tools we use to put our mental health to work in a creative fashion.

The need for feminines to accomplish and the desire for masculines to be appreciated are real human issues. When these are perceived as the goals instead of the by-products of the creative process, our identities become undermined by the conventional need for completion and conditions exist whereby the stress of failure is seen as overwhelming.

Dedication to the independent pride in one’s submissiveness establishes once and for all that masculinity is more than an ideal invented for feminines. It is the first link in the chain of events that leads to the discovery of new truth. Without it there can be no power surrender and the accompanying increase in the capacity for idealization which generates the experience of putting our love to work. It is what makes love tough without having to give voice to aggression.

Commitment to independent warmth in his dominance will initiate the security needed to expand the domain mechanism without which the masculine personalities relationship to life tends to get treated as if it were a rented automobile — since it’s not really his, he doesn’t really have to learn how to take care of it. With it, the recognition of opportunities that invite his exploitation is made clear and his power is free to make demands that will help establish what is right in the human scene. It is what provides the demonstration of power with grace. – by Tony Rostron -rosenfels.orgNatural memory enhancer