There are a couple of classic examples of how to handle difficult asks from people you report to
1. Request to take on a new, urgent assignment when you’re already booked: “I’m already working on XYZ and they take up all of my time. Which one should I put off to work on this?” You’re not saying no, you’re making them aware of what’s going on and taking responsibility for what gets done when. Note this is only superiors who actually are supposed to be making decisions about which work gets prioritized when. If they don’t have the authority to prioritize your work, you just say, “I’m already working on XYZ. Talk to my boss if you think I should be working on something else.”
2. Someone asks you to do something difficult and time consuming as part of a project. Instead of saying no, tell them that you can do it if you have X extra days (plus any additional resources you need). Also give them additional options that might me quicker or easier. People are programmed to go for quick rewards; you’ll find they rethink some of their asks when they told how long the task will take. Again, only do this with people who are supposed to be making decisions about a certain project. For other people, direct them to the decision maker. Or you might send the decision maker a message, telling them both the ask and the additional resources required and ask what they want to do.
The underlying principle in both cases is that you’re not rejecting them outright, but letting them see the ramifications of their ask and take responsibility for them. Unless you are the one supposed to be making these decisions, you’re putting the responsibility back where it belongs.
If you are the decision maker, then do the following. First, listen and ask clarification questions so that you fully understand the task and they know you understand it (you probably should always do this). Then, if it doesn’t seem like the right choice, let them know that your decision is based on XYZ principles, that their ask doesn’t fit with that right now. Lastly, give them some options or next steps for accomplishing what they want. This will show them that you are taking into account their needs, but like above, it makes them responsible for making improvements to their ask or doing other prep work so that their ask can be done. –Alec Sorensen
